SUPERBORE DAY - Strange connection to my life!

It is no coincidence that the Superbore Game began the year before I met and married Howard.

I met him in late June - so there was no football going on. By the time we got engaged in late August, training camp, or whatever they do,was starting, but I never imagined the depth ( heights?) of his passion for the GAME, until one night, shortly before the winter ( post season)wedding, we were watching what I now know was a play-off game in his apartment in the The Majestic in New York, when I cut my hand on a wine glass.

It was bleeding COPIOUSLY. Howard suggested I wrap in something clean, apply pressure, and elevate it until the game was over because it was a very very good game. I actually bought into this. I stood there seething like a Jewish statue of liberty until the game was over. I knew something was terribly wrong. He was a fanatic of which the words FAN are the first three letters.

WE then ended up at my internist at the time's office and he found sutures in a closet JAMMED with diapragms ( remember diaphragms?). We were so riveted by this (since he was NOT an ob/gyn) that we got through the ghastly stitching with no anesthesia.

I have the scar to this day and will happily show it to anyone who does not believe this really happened to a beautiful, well educated young women with a nice diamond on her hand. The hand that was not bleeding.

Of course, like many foolish young women before me I THOUGHT I COULD CHANGE HIM. YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN WHO IS SET INTO THIINGS LIKE FOOTBORE: TRUST ME GIRLS!

My dad then compounded the whole thing by giving his new son-in-law two season tickets to the New York Giants as a guy bonding thing. These tickets were truly impossible to get, and for some years, until I wised up and women's lib started, I used to GO to these ghastly games, Sunday New York Times in hand and sit and freeze while everyone cheered. My dad retired to florida, and never ever went to a game with howard!

So here we are ready to go to a friend's house for yet another superbore. party. thing.

OY! FORTY FOUR YEARS LATER, and he is still excited. No wonder they show only Viagra and Cialis ads on football and golf channels. When they say to call for help after an erection lasting more than four hours, try calling for help after a passion lasting four decades?

I do understand football , although the game takes WAY way too long. I actually can sit through a game if I have too and know what is happening. but Superbores are really too much. Too long and normally boring, although this game might be a good one they say. But the Giants are not in it so who cares?

The endless talking started weeks ago. I particularly enjoy the suits worn by the sportcasters who are former football players... These darling HUGE guys wear custom suits in the most extraordinary patterns and colors. They keep me amused for a while. As does their often extraordinarily weak grasp on English grammer.

The new thing is that everyone cries all the time. They make 20 mill a year for running around and they are crying?? Suck it up , guys!

They should only know what it is like to be a wife of a wildly enthusiastic fan.. I know how to cry, but there is no point anymore.

BTW, he is also a rabid fan of baseball, ice hockey ( which makes me nauseous) , basketball and GOLF - Oh golf is a whole nother blog. Maybe a book.

GOLF is the other woman in our marriage!!

Luckily, I am planning to be a good girl today - and we will watch the game and I will make bets ( he already took my cash), becuase after 44 years of marriage there are just a few things you need to do to keep them happy - and there are millions of things he needs to do to keep me happy - and generally he does them. He lets me shop a lot which is lovely of him.

But , lord, it is a sacrifice... and I don't like melted cheese, chile or dips or popcorn or chips. I met a young neighbor at the supermarket yesterday poring hysterically over her Iphone which would not give her the right chile recipe in large enough font and she could not see what to buy - BUY meat, chile sauce, beans and chips, brown the meat and and mush them all together, I suggested helpfully.

Of course, I should have foreseen all of this, but when one is young and in love, and shopping for a great white dress, one thinks this will not always be true - but it has been the most consistant thing in our lives - Sports: at resorts, in Europe, on ships and now with the internet, there is no surcease.

I guess that is why they call it sudden death: the tie score between life and the end of the game.