What it feels like to we few outsiders who use landlines, paper and pens,, is that they would much rather look at the screen and their e-mails than pay attention to us. Even if we are paying for lunch.
What the hell are they looking at? I mean is it PORN? Breaking news out of Bahrain? WHAT?
This is life in the 21st century - an electronic device is more important than the person you are with.
I've lived with a man who has stared at sports on TV rather than me for years, so it isn't as if this is a new experience. But it seems more intense recently. Especially with the IPhone and Blackberry. I had a Blackberry from Verizon for part of a day a few years ago. I couldn't crack any of the instructions, ( all 600 pages of them), so I took it back. Happily, I might add. Also my fingers didn't fit the little teeny keys. I had just learned to text - for me, like getting a PhD.
I am old enough to think technophilia is incredibly rude, and yet I know when I get my Iphone, I'll most likely do the same thing. Actually I cannot wait to go to Verizon and get the IPhone. I'll most likely never learn to use it the way the kids do, but I guess I'll also be staring down waiting for Godot or whatever it is they are waiting for.
So the land of technology is attractive, ( as are all things out of reach like the Neiman Marcus' Christmas Special Gift), and yet difficult for me to navigate. I hate that!
I hate that 3 year olds can edit a photo, and I cannot spellcheck ( as you all know).
As any of my 12 or 13 fans are aware, spelling is not my strong suit.
I write quickly, and although I read and reread, I get so taken up with my own wit and cleverness I often, ( ok --ALWAYS), miss a lot of letters. And I'm not even discussing punctuation.
In fact, now that I have two Apple computers, a Canon camera neither of us can use very well, if at all, two printers ( One is COLOR! Why? I don't really know, except it is kinda cool), and an IPod which absolutely confounds me, even though any toddler can make a playlist.
I am getting nervous about my inability to exist in a world where handwriting or the spoken word no longer count.
WE even have a "computer guy", Hugo, who comes over ( at great expense) , puts it all together, explains it ( BUT DOES NOT WRITE IT DOWN), and leaves for another client brighter and younger than we.
I constantly hear Howard the husband swearing in his office.
Often, I can work his problem out. ( He is way behind even me in computer knowledge,but he knows his limitations.)
I want to be a part of it all. It's like wanting to be popular in fifth grade.
The minute the cute girls knew you wanted in - out you went..
My computer, the camera, the IPod and the printers smell me coming, and immediately go into "we know nothing from nothing" mode.
This would not have mattered much since I manage e-mails ok (although the spelling isn't great), but when I wanted to write this blog, for the amusement of my fourteen friends, fans and relatives, I could not do the photo thing nor the fancy background thing and , of course, you already know about the spelling thing.
Because I do not play bridge or do Seduko, I feel this is a stab at staving off the inevitable senility which is even now breathing down my neck. If I could learn just a few tricks, and write enough to make people laugh, that would have been enough, ("Dayenu" for those who know what that word means).
So, Tomorrow, Hugo may or may not arrive to try to explain to me the following:
1. How do you scan a photo and put it on the blog to replace the four year old photo that is there already? ( also on Facebook, but that is a whole nother blog)
2. How do I download ( see, I know a few of the techno terms for social situations, as I know a few golf terms for dinners at the club) pictures or send people to other sites like Arianna can, and why did SHE just make $319 million dollars for her blog while I sit here in a Lands End turtleneck????
3.Why can I not write the blog in WORD ( Apple doesn't like Word, it just pretends to),
edit it there, and then make it be a blog.
I DO NOT KNOW, AND STILL WILL NOT KNOW WHEN HUGO LEAVES AFTER four $65 DOLLAR HOURS. Plus travel time.
I honestly do not think it is that I am stupid. I know I am not stupid.
It's like math, I just don't do math. I hope that I can do techology a little better before my new COMPUTER EYEGLASSES arrive from the eyeglass store.
At least without the glasses, I have some excuse for all the mistakes my cousin Lauren is going to find in this blog as soon as I press " send."